Some Arbitrary Top Ten TV Lists with No Analytical Value Whatsoever

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I was bored the other day between shifts of exam supervision, and since I didn’t have time to produce anything actually worthwhile, I decided to do some top ten TV lists. I was gonna do movies too, but I ran out of time.

These top ten lists have no value whatsoever as criticism, as analysis or even as entertainment. My metrics are unclear, even to me. For some lists, a show can only appear on the list once, but for others, there is no such limit, and I have no explanation as to why, even to myself.

In fact, these lists are so uncertain and unstable that I stopped to change several of them halfway through the previous paragraph and I’m still not sure they signify anything. I also wrote a name over another name in one list but can’t tell or remember which one was written over the other.

But if you want a snapshot of how I would, largely arbitrarily, rank some of the TV shows I’ve watched in a series of top ten lists, at this exact moment in time, this might give you some shallow data, largely bereft of meaning.

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Top 10 Episodes of Television 2014–2015

As the 2015–2016 television season kicks off, I’m aware that I haven’t posted anything on this in a while, even though I have lots of thoughts and opinions and such, due to a combination of busyness and many of these ideas remaining incomplete as of yet. So, as an exercise partially in constrained writing and partially in making myself do things, I’m gonna give, in no particular order, my ten favourite episodes of television from the television season just ended, in 161 words or less per episode.

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Promising Pilot Pickups, Part 5: I Forgot I’d Be Busy, Here’s the Rest of Them

When I decided to do a weekly roundup of these series pickups, I forgot I’d be on holidays in the second half of June and therefore singularly unwilling to give a crap about writing these up. Also, I made this blog for my own enjoyment, I shouldn’t feel under pressure to write stuff. So I’m gonna burn the rest off and, to make a game of it, I’ve given myself a hard limit of 161 words across all the show descriptions.

Here’s the rest of those damn pilots.

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Promising Pilot Pickups, Part 4: Ancient Stranded Survivors Angel vs Telenovela Superhero Vice in Quarantine

Woops, today is Sunday, not Saturday, as promised. Oh well, I don’t care. I had a lot to watch, namely the final six episodes of season six of Adventure Time, the three new episodes of UnREAL that Lifetime just put online for no apparent reason, and also, oh yeah, the twelve-episode first season of Sense8 that showed up on Netflix right when I needed a slow-burn impressionist collage of television.

They were good. But what might be good? Here’s seven another more pilots also.

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Prolegomena to Any Future Grimm

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In the end, season four of Grimm was not its worst season. That’s a pretty impressive achievement, because it seemed like it was obviously the worst season of Grimm for almost the entirety of its run. But it simply can’t be the worst season when its finale did something no other season finale has done: make irreversible changes to the show.

I know, I was shocked too.

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Promising Pilot Pickups, Part 1: Fictionalised Time-Travelling Horror Movie Lothario Dr. Pioneer in Oz

So, we’re right in the meat of pilot season in the USA, and because of cultural hegemony, that means we’re getting a list of all the new shows that have been picked up for the 2015/2016 season, and therefore may or may not become pop culture icons or eventually drift to TG4 where people will be constantly surprised that THAT is showing on TG4, because no one watches TG4, even though they had Breaking Bad and Mad Men before RTÉ did, which is pretty impressive.

Anyway, I’ll be doing one post a week until the formal end of pilot season, the end of June, where I’ll talk some about seven pilots that strike me as possibly worth at least watching the first episode when it airs/leaks. I’ll be doing it this way both to present my thoughts in smaller chunks (there are a lot of shows on my radar) and also because there’s a few pilots I’m invested in whose fates are still up in the air, so I want to hold out until the very last moment before I pronounce them dead and weep over their abandoned bodies.

Anyway, here’s some pilots.

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The “Marble Hornets” Movie is Kinda Good

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I’ll declare my biases upfront: I am a huge fan of the original web series, Marble Hornets, of which this movie is a spinoff (more or less), and I used to contribute to the large body of online stories known collectively as the Slender Man Mythos through various fictional blogs. Mine are still online and still terrible, but you’re welcome to read them at your own peril.

I did my best to approach Always Watching: A Marble Hornets Story as, separately, a standalone film and an extension of Marble Hornets and I’ll equally try my best to incorporate both perspectives into this review, which will probably average out at “yeah, pretty entertaining”.

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